I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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