i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
