one two three fourrrrnication!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize