what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
