so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize