I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
