I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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