I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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