i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
