It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
