man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
