Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize