on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
