If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
