Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
