I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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