I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
