that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
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