unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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