ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
