i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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