SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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