also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
