and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
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