Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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