I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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