I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
