just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
