She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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