marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize