he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
