Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
