Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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