Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
