i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
