There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize