I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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