She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
