Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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