dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
