Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
