we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
