ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
