The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
