he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
