Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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