Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
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