Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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