last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
