Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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