Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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