There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
