Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
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