I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
