hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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