Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
