Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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