Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
