i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up under a house in Key West
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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