watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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