we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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