Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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